Dear Not Really A Fairy,
Though you do like cake and dancing (really, who doesn't), you are clearly mistaken:
* Fairies like order, tidyness, and neatness. It used to be said that a housewife who did not keep a neat home would be pinched by the faeries in punishment.
Please make a note of this and clean your room.
I will leave you a bowl of water and cheese.
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